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citoyenne mondiale
citoyenne mondiale
My weight

I know that people are trying to be nice and polite, but so many people have been commenting about how much weight I lost. The people range from friends, family members, acquaintances, and even my doctor. On the one hand, since I was 12, when I was overweight/borderline obese, people have been telling me how important it is for me to lose weight.

Now, I have lost the weight and people have been acting either jealous, strange, too enthusiastic for me. Some start complaining how fat they are in front of me and comparing themselves to me. Some indirectly start feeding me more food, acting "worried" that I have lost so much weight (this was so true for me in Poland--fattening me up, yet admonishing me that I have gained weight). One person has told me that I look rather "dainty" lately. Another person told me that "you look great, you've lost so much weight--not that you looked bad before or anything".

I know that I am healthy. My doctor has told me so. And I trust him. He told me that I am in a healthy weight range for someone my height and body weight. It makes me feel better, knowing that I am in an ideal weight range. (I only plan on losing 5-10 more pounds anyway). However, these comments just bother me and some people get testy with me. They expect me to have a solution that would work for them.

It gets worse in terms of dating. Some men are starting to look at me as an attractive person, and it makes me feel good. But, my lingering doubts makes me question if they would feel the same way when I was heavier. I am still the same person underneath my skin, albeit with more confidence and more patience with myself. Can others see the same thing as I do? It makes me feel sick that looks still matter in this superficial world.

June 12, 2006 | 4:06 AM Comments  0 comments

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