Don't really have much to say today. I am feeling a bit exhausted and stressed out, with things to do, changes in the weather, and changes in time...but I am not trying to get too stressed out. Can only do one thing at a time.

Sometimes I wish that I wasn't devoted to knowing about everything! I wish that instead of focusing on human rights issues, women's rights, and other political issues, I could just be excited and concerned about football games and other mindless gossip about events/people in town.

BUT I CAN'T!

I have to read the newspaper, I have to watch the news, I have to know what's going on. I don't think that anyone, especially in the US after September 11th, has a legitimate excuse of not knowing what's going on in the world. Learning about what's going on in the world only makes me more mad, curious, and want to do something to change the world.

It may be nice to not know what's going on, to basically live in la la land, and not worry about anything. Perhaps it just makes people more happy and not upset like me.

However, I believe that if only more Americans would watch the news, read the newspaper, listen to the news, study languages, travel more, read history, maybe then our current acceptance of foreign policy will change, and leaders can be held more accountable for their actions/decisions.

Every week when I go to my Polish lessons, you just never know who's going to show up. You don't know if new students would show up or if the regular students would keep on coming. In some ways, it's a bit disconcerting for everyone involved, especially for the teacher, because you can never plan accurately for the lesson. (This was one of my main frustrations as an English teacher over the summer in Poland-you plan a lesson for 20 students, and in the end, only 3 would show up! Makes you think on your feet really fast. Plus, occasionally, you would have to accept new students because it was a free program, and open to the public).

Plus, it could be a bit frustrating for students as well. Progress in learning is like "moving one step forward, two steps back". (Sometimes I wish the school would just not accept new students because it's hard to enter lessons halfway-however, I guess the school needd the money.

Today, a young family joined the class. There was a man with three young children. Their mother is from Poland, originally from Bialystok. They did a really great job today! I felt so bad for them entering a lesson halfway through the semester, especially for the young children who were participating in a 2 hour long lesson for adults! They are going to learn Polish faster than everyone else! Their minds are not sculpted yet, and resistant to changes.

(Help me, why am I forgetting Polish words all of a sudden? have problems remembering simple words, especially the spelling! This was in true force today during class. I was only in Poland two months ago and already I'm forgetting! Sigh! How frustrating!)

It's been two months since returning from Poland, and I am still unemployed. Even finding part time jobs have been difficult. Job interview after job interview and I am getting nowhere. Spend so much money for school and I do not have enough money to pay off college loans. I am feeling frustrated because I am idealistic and I want to help people. But, it's hard to share those wishes in a society that is so focused on hard core materialism and capitalism. At times I wish I had more of a business driven mind and studied business or even the sciences. What was the point of college anyway? No one asks your your opinion on Descartes or Marx in job interviews. I guess it's my rude awakening to the "real world", where everything will not be served to me on a silver platter. However, we need to stop high school commencement speeches that focus on new students entering the "real world", where college is far from the real world. It's mostly a sheltered environment where we endly discuss ideas that go nowhere. It's just times like this makes me regret my college years. Well, at least, I have my grad. school applications to look forward to...

Elections are only 2 weeks away in Ohio! However, it has come to my understanding that more and more politicians realize that they will only be elected if they can guarantee that they WONT raise taxes...This trend has been going on for several years now, where Americans are less willing to pay taxes in order to support various programs. YET, many Americans still demand that programs need to be implemented and problems need to be solved. Here's the ultimate dilemma: Don't you need money in order to implement and solve problems?

An example of an exchange:
Fix the roads, but don't raise my taxes!
Let's reform my schools, but I won't vote for my school's levy!
Let's get the homeless off the streets, but I don't see why my money should be used to pay off a "welfare queen".

So, how will these problems be solved? Where do these people think that money comes from? From trees?
(I understand that there are some people who are overtaxed and ultimately they cannot pay more taxes. However, there are many Americans who are anti-taxes and they have bundles of money that they don't want to let go!)

It's obviously an American value that will not disappear soon. However, I prefer that my taxes will go and pay for programs that will help people instead of weapons that ultimately destroy people.