It's been a while since I last posted something on this site, but I've been busy. I've been through an emotional rollercoaster for the past two weeks, maybe for the past few months. Since I am turning 24 tomorrow, I feel that this would be the perfect opportunity for me to look within myself and make some changes/vows that I need to keep true. As well, I want to add some things that I want to accomplish in my life.

*I will never sacrifice my soul, energy, emotions, and everything to a person who does not love, like, or respect me
*Referring to the above statement, I want to maintain my integrity in all relationships
*I need to learn how to take things less seriously and less personally, just in general, as well in relationships
*I want to travel around the world, and visit/live/teach/work/learn in as many countries as I can (This can be accomplished by joining the Peace Corps, Peace Boat, and other related activities if necessary!)
*I want to be the best teacher I can be to my students, and learn how to advocate for them and their rights. This can take place either in public schools in America and/or abroad as well.
*I want to live/work/study in NYC or DC at some point (enough said!)
*I want to continue my higher education and either receive a PhD or Ed.D someday
*I want to have at least one fulfilling, satisfying, honest, beautiful relationship with one man at some point in my life
*I want to operate educational programs that promote peace and intercultural understanding among young people and children (Perhaps be like Oprah and open schools--as well as end the public school crisis as well)

Will I be able to accomplish all of these goals? It remains to be seen.

2006 Year in Review

January-Still in Poland, visiting friends and family. Flight back to Ohio was rather interesting because my mother unfortunately sprained her ankle the last day we were there, while we were visiting my grandfather's grave. Once I returned to Poland, I found out that I was accepted to MIIS' TESOL program. Was interviewed by one of the faculty members of SIT. For awhile, I was not sure if I was going to be accepted or not by SIT, but eventually, received the great news. Started tutoring ESL adult students at a local Adult Education Center.

February-Lots of job applications for summer jobs; thought I was going to teach in Chicago over the summer, but it didn't work out.

March-Visited SIT; fell in love with the campus; unconsciously made a decision to go there. Sent application for teaching internship position at Putney.

April-Visited MIIS; confirmed my decision to attend SIT.

May-Almost accepted summer teaching job at another adult education center, but was offered the Putney teaching position at the last minute. Decided to go to Putney because I wanted to work with teenagers and it was nearby SIT.

June/July-Started my teaching position at Putney. Experienced life at a boarding school, leading camping trips, coaching volleyball, teaching theater improvisation, and working with the wonderful PIE students. Dealt with homesick campers and attitude adjustments. Learned a lot about myself and my teaching capabilities; had a lot of teaching/leadership opportunities!

August-Went back home to Ohio for one month; my two friends from Poland were there and I showed them around Cleveland, Ohio, and Canada. Switched from Internationalist track to public school track @SIT because I want to work with young people.

September-Started my experience at SIT. Met the most amazing people there--former Peace Corps volunteers, human rights workers, leaders from other countries. Fell in love with my classes and my work. For the first time in a long time, I was happy to go to class. Tried things that I have never done before. Unforutunately, sprained my ankle, which took a while to recover. Despite that, September was the best month of the year!

October-Started PACE with my fellow peers, joined other organizations, such as Immigrant Rights Group. Started to feel overwhelmed with the task of public school teaching as we visited different public school sites--where should I teach? Should I only focus on poorer areas or should I be open to teach anywhere? I want to teach where I am needed and wanted, to help any student who needs my help. So much tension during that time.

November-Democrats took control! Became really ill during the beginning of the month; took awhile for me to recover. Missed local conference, even though I paid money for it. Went home for Thanksgiving. Reconnected with friends that I haven't talked to since the beginning of the semester. Found out my practicum placement--Fort River Elementary School, working with Kindergardeners!

December-Feelings of exhaustion and overwhelmed. Felt I am too idealistic for teaching and concerns if I can do it. Had a blast performing for my Spanish class. Controversy surrounding our program, as students are leaving and no one is explaining why. Relieved to go home to recharge my batteries and determined to face the new year with confidence.

2006 was a great, challenging year. I hope and I pray that I will have the necessary strength to get through 2007.

I am all packed--ready to return to Vermont to start the new year!

Sometimes I worry and wonder if I can be a good teacher. I just finished reading Herbert Kohl's "The Discipline of Hope" and he is so awe-inspiring as a teacher, so committed to his students. I care deeply about teaching and about my students, but I worry if I can advocate for them, if I can be a good teacher. I know that this is a common fear for all teachers, but I really want to be the best teacher I can be for my students. I want to be that person that they can turn to, I want to be that teacher that inspires my students to learn and to carry that joy of learning wherever they go. I want to teach well and advocate for my students. Can I do it? Am I too shy/passive for this job?

Sometimes it seems that teaching is such an awesome, overwhelming responsibility...there are so many problems in the world, so many issues/traumas that my students will bring into the classroom. Can I address it? Can I help my students overcome those difficulties, to be the people I know they can be? Or will I become those stifling teachers that everyone hates? I hope and I pray that I won't be like those teachers, but I constantly worry that I will wake up one day and realize that I am a horrible teacher and I can't reach my students.

Only time can tell I suppose...

Well, Christmas is over and as much as I detest snow, I was still hoping for a "White Christmas". Unfortunately, I was fairly disappointed--however, if I was in Denver, I would have gotten the snow I needed.

On Christmas Day, we traveled to Canada to visit my relatives. It was great to see everyone there--for the first time in a long time, all of my cousins who are in the same age group as me were all there. It was nice to spend time together, sharing with each other what we're doing, as well as teasing each other. My family and I spent the night there and the next day, we visited Niagara Falls and had lunch at a nearby restaurant. Although I have had the privilege of visiting Niagara Falls since I was a young girl, I am still in awe whenever I visit the Falls. Such a majestic view of nature (yet currently surrounded by Casinos and other touristy gimmicks).

However, for me, one of the greatest things that happened on Christmas Day was playing the piano for one of my older cousins. She is more than 90 years old, but she has a great memory about everything. I played for her traditional Polish songs, which she and my mother sang with great spirit. Playing the piano made me realize how much I missed having music throughout my life, and it has also made me become even more homesick for Poland. There are plans for me to go there in the summer, but I wish that I was more proficient in the language and my communication abilities. Although my plans are to teach in US public schools for awhile, maybe I will return to Poland as a teacher again.

In a few days, I will be returning to Vermont. My teaching practicum starts soon, and I am excited and nervous about it as well. We'll see how it'll all work out. I hope that I can be the best teacher for my students. Trying to find teaching clothes have been challenging for me (especially regarding pants and the fact that I have gained weight since starting SIT), but luckily, I found some nice ones yesterday. I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything will work out for the upcoming new year.

Well, I am back at SIT. It's so funny. Although I love my family very much, I just couldn't wait to get back here. I finally realize that I just can't stay in Ohio, there is something magical and special here in Vermont...It's my true home.

Every day, i feel like I have a greater sense of purpose. I know what I need to do and I have great colleagues and faculty who support me here. My greatest fear is how to maintain this sense of purpose once I leave SIT. Will I remain happy or will I grow discouraged? I really don't know.

I also just found out that I will be working at a local elementary school with a Kindergarden class. How sweet and fun!