Despite all of the frustrations that I experience at SIT, I am thankful for many things. I am thankful to meet so many amazing people here at SIT. Individuals from different countries, states. Some with different experiences, struggles, hardships, but all with the passion to make this world a better place.

I need to be reminded about this constantly. Seeing the film "Frontiers of Dreams and Fears" made me realize this. Thank you for allowing me to see this film and be reminded about others' stories. I think the longer I am at SIT, I realize that I still want to see more of the world. Yes, I am meeting people, listening to stories about their countries. Instead of having all of my questions answered, and my curiosity finished, I still realize that there is so much that I need to learn, see, and experience.

However, what I am most thankful for is that I can now connect a country, circumstance, to another person and his/her story. Stories and peoples' lives are what keeps me going. It has made my life and experience immensely richer and I hope to continue learning throughout my life.

Thank you for the gift and realization.

It's been a while since I last posted something on this site, but I've been busy. I've been through an emotional rollercoaster for the past two weeks, maybe for the past few months. Since I am turning 24 tomorrow, I feel that this would be the perfect opportunity for me to look within myself and make some changes/vows that I need to keep true. As well, I want to add some things that I want to accomplish in my life.

*I will never sacrifice my soul, energy, emotions, and everything to a person who does not love, like, or respect me
*Referring to the above statement, I want to maintain my integrity in all relationships
*I need to learn how to take things less seriously and less personally, just in general, as well in relationships
*I want to travel around the world, and visit/live/teach/work/learn in as many countries as I can (This can be accomplished by joining the Peace Corps, Peace Boat, and other related activities if necessary!)
*I want to be the best teacher I can be to my students, and learn how to advocate for them and their rights. This can take place either in public schools in America and/or abroad as well.
*I want to live/work/study in NYC or DC at some point (enough said!)
*I want to continue my higher education and either receive a PhD or Ed.D someday
*I want to have at least one fulfilling, satisfying, honest, beautiful relationship with one man at some point in my life
*I want to operate educational programs that promote peace and intercultural understanding among young people and children (Perhaps be like Oprah and open schools--as well as end the public school crisis as well)

Will I be able to accomplish all of these goals? It remains to be seen.

My first post for 2007!
Well, I am back at SIT and it is very surreal to be here. I left it in such a negative state of mind with low morale. I was almost scared to come back here. But, after talking with one of my roommates, I am starting to feel better to be back here. Even though I sometimes wonder if SIT/teaching is right for me, I am going to try to make the rest of my time at SIT the best experience for me. I am going to try to start this semester with a clean slate and forget all of the negativity that I experience.

However, there is so much to do in such little time. I have to start asking for letters of recommendation for summer teaching jobs, including for one application that is due next week! Plus, I am starting my teaching practicum in two days, which is scaring and exciting at the same time. Below are some more thoughts and expectations that I want for this semester:

From my teaching practicum: I want to learn from my mentor teacher
-What should Kindergardners learn by the end of the school year, especially related to linguistic abilties?
-How do you integrate ELLs into the mainstream classroom? Do you have to provide lots of scaffolding? Make them work with other instructors? Students?
-Relationship with the ELL coordinator
-How do you communicate with parents, community, other teachers regarding ELL students?
-Classroom management-How do you create activities that are stimulating for these children and make them engaged?

From the ELL coordinator:
-Advocacy, Advocacy, Advocacy!
-Issues related to ESL in the public schools
-Relationship with students, teachers, parents, and community
-Techniques that are beneficial for the students

From SIT:
-More practical experience
-Want to hear and learn more from others, including my fellow peers
-Issues of diversity/ESL in education
-Outside speakers and other opportunities

I hope that most of my wants/needs will come to fruition. We'll just wait and see...

2006 Year in Review

January-Still in Poland, visiting friends and family. Flight back to Ohio was rather interesting because my mother unfortunately sprained her ankle the last day we were there, while we were visiting my grandfather's grave. Once I returned to Poland, I found out that I was accepted to MIIS' TESOL program. Was interviewed by one of the faculty members of SIT. For awhile, I was not sure if I was going to be accepted or not by SIT, but eventually, received the great news. Started tutoring ESL adult students at a local Adult Education Center.

February-Lots of job applications for summer jobs; thought I was going to teach in Chicago over the summer, but it didn't work out.

March-Visited SIT; fell in love with the campus; unconsciously made a decision to go there. Sent application for teaching internship position at Putney.

April-Visited MIIS; confirmed my decision to attend SIT.

May-Almost accepted summer teaching job at another adult education center, but was offered the Putney teaching position at the last minute. Decided to go to Putney because I wanted to work with teenagers and it was nearby SIT.

June/July-Started my teaching position at Putney. Experienced life at a boarding school, leading camping trips, coaching volleyball, teaching theater improvisation, and working with the wonderful PIE students. Dealt with homesick campers and attitude adjustments. Learned a lot about myself and my teaching capabilities; had a lot of teaching/leadership opportunities!

August-Went back home to Ohio for one month; my two friends from Poland were there and I showed them around Cleveland, Ohio, and Canada. Switched from Internationalist track to public school track @SIT because I want to work with young people.

September-Started my experience at SIT. Met the most amazing people there--former Peace Corps volunteers, human rights workers, leaders from other countries. Fell in love with my classes and my work. For the first time in a long time, I was happy to go to class. Tried things that I have never done before. Unforutunately, sprained my ankle, which took a while to recover. Despite that, September was the best month of the year!

October-Started PACE with my fellow peers, joined other organizations, such as Immigrant Rights Group. Started to feel overwhelmed with the task of public school teaching as we visited different public school sites--where should I teach? Should I only focus on poorer areas or should I be open to teach anywhere? I want to teach where I am needed and wanted, to help any student who needs my help. So much tension during that time.

November-Democrats took control! Became really ill during the beginning of the month; took awhile for me to recover. Missed local conference, even though I paid money for it. Went home for Thanksgiving. Reconnected with friends that I haven't talked to since the beginning of the semester. Found out my practicum placement--Fort River Elementary School, working with Kindergardeners!

December-Feelings of exhaustion and overwhelmed. Felt I am too idealistic for teaching and concerns if I can do it. Had a blast performing for my Spanish class. Controversy surrounding our program, as students are leaving and no one is explaining why. Relieved to go home to recharge my batteries and determined to face the new year with confidence.

2006 was a great, challenging year. I hope and I pray that I will have the necessary strength to get through 2007.

I am all packed--ready to return to Vermont to start the new year!

Sometimes I worry and wonder if I can be a good teacher. I just finished reading Herbert Kohl's "The Discipline of Hope" and he is so awe-inspiring as a teacher, so committed to his students. I care deeply about teaching and about my students, but I worry if I can advocate for them, if I can be a good teacher. I know that this is a common fear for all teachers, but I really want to be the best teacher I can be for my students. I want to be that person that they can turn to, I want to be that teacher that inspires my students to learn and to carry that joy of learning wherever they go. I want to teach well and advocate for my students. Can I do it? Am I too shy/passive for this job?

Sometimes it seems that teaching is such an awesome, overwhelming responsibility...there are so many problems in the world, so many issues/traumas that my students will bring into the classroom. Can I address it? Can I help my students overcome those difficulties, to be the people I know they can be? Or will I become those stifling teachers that everyone hates? I hope and I pray that I won't be like those teachers, but I constantly worry that I will wake up one day and realize that I am a horrible teacher and I can't reach my students.

Only time can tell I suppose...